RIP my Sweet Fur Baby Abby
What a tiny ball of fluff I got back in October 1999. This little girl was my whole world. She was a fun, spunky, stubborn, loving, energetic, affectionate and all around great fur baby. She stole my heart from first glance when I picked her out of the litter and she held onto my heart for almost 15 years now. I just don’t understand what happened, and I guess I never will. Abby seemed totally fine a week ago, running around the yard, playing, enjoying life as she always did and then on Wednesday May 21st she seemed to be sick and started to lose interest in things. She didn’t care to be outside as much, roaming the yard with us or care to do anything except lay by me or on her bed. Even though Abby slept a lot on a normal basis this was even more than normal. She just wasn’t right. I thought she might be wormy so the morning of May 24th I gave her worming medicine with her soft food. She ate all her food, went and did her normal roll on the floor like she had done every day after eating. She then got up and was walking funny. She seemed so out of touch with things and just laid down on the floor. When she would try to stand, she would fall over. It was like watching a drunk dog. She was not right. I called the emergency vet and rushed her in. All the way there I watched her on the seat next to me. She was not the same dog as a few days before. Really out of it, trying to move around and falling. Shaking, uncontrollably. I had this awful feeling down deep in my guts Upon arriving at the vet they took her in the back to do some tests and check her out. The doctor came into the room to talk with me and said that Abby had no signs of anything out of the ordinary for a dog her age. The way she was acting was not related to anything ingested or anything she might have gotten into. He told me that he felt she had a brain tumor. Could be cancer or not, but that is what he felt she had. The reason she was all disorientated was due to it growing and pushing on the nervous system part of her brain. And since Abby had been on meds most of her life for Epilepsy, she was not showing signs of seizures even though what she was doing was a partial sign of a seizure. It was like she had a stroke and could only walk in circles. She kept falling over and was so confused.
I was given a few options. Bring her to a major vet hospital for more testing and a cat scan, but the price of all that was so high and being that she is almost 15 he didn’t recommend it but it was an option. Or, take her home and watch her get worse and fear that she might injure herself because she can’t stand or walk without falling. I couldn’t do that as we have steps to go in and out of our house, and deck that she used to love to hang out on, and I just couldn’t handle if she was in pain or would injure herself when we weren’t home. Last choice, put her down. I hate that choice!! Hate it! He left me alone with her for a bit and I just sobbed. I held her, told her how much I love her, and what a joy she has been. Told her she cold now see her buddy Loki (our male Shih Tzu we lost a couple years ago to a brain tumor). I told her we will miss her and I pray she forgives me for having to let her go. I got to hold her as she took her last breath. Dammit!! Why is it so hard to say goodbye? Did I do the right thing? I know it’s to late to ask that, and in my head I know I did but in my heart I want her here forever. 14 1/2 years is a long time to have something in your life. She was a part of our family for so long I am just now lost without her and she has only been gone less than a day.
Rest In Peace my sweet little girl. I love you, my fur baby.
I will miss your little bark, they way you snored louder than any human I know, the way you run around the house and play fetch, the way you beg for treats, the look you give me when you want to sit next to me on the recliner, the way you push your food dish around before you eat, the smiles you bring to me every day with every little look you give me. I will just miss you, all of you, forever.
The RAINBOW BRIDGE~ Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….