The vast majority of women require clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm.

If we told you that there was a way to make a woman putty in your hands, would you listen? Guess what, guys: We’ve figured out exactly what it takes to satisfy your woman — in the bedroom at least. You might think that a few kisses and the presentation of your proud erect member might be enough to make her quiver, but you might be missing the most important factor in your, and your woman’s, sexual satisfaction.

Women have so many erogenous zones that it can get a little overwhelming for a guy trying to figure out the magic combination to her satisfaction. You’ve already gotten a play-by-play overview of the most popular — her G-spot — so now it’s time to fully consider the never-fail, go-to spot for her orgasm. It’s time to focus on the most important square inch on her body: her clitoris. Understanding the clitoris is the key to a woman eager to come back for more. Get comfortable and pay attention, here’s everything you need to know when it comes to understanding the clitoris.

about the clitoris

Just in case you need a refresher course, here are the basic facts: Her clitoris is a small bud-like formation that is located slightly above the opening to her vagina, at the top of her inner labia. Clitoris size and shape differs from woman to woman, but it is generally between 1/8 to 3/8 of an inch in size. Her clitoris is the equivalent of your penis; it’s packed with nerve endings and becomes engorged when she’s aroused.

Vital info: The vast majority of women require clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm — penetration just isn’t always enough on its own. Sounds like a good enough reason to makes its acquaintance, doesn’t it?

how to play with it

Language

Sexual stimulation is largely a cerebral activity for women; turning her on requires attention to her brain, not just her body. Even if you and your woman have yet to venture into talking dirty to each other, rest assured that whispering in her ear about what you plan on doing to her, or how turned on you are, can be enough to get her wanting more. The more aroused you can get her before the clothes come off, the easier your next job will be and this is key to understanding the clitoris.

Fingers

It goes without saying that clean hands and neat fingernails are key if you plan on going exploring, but what you might not realize is that diving in and honing in on her clitoris to start with might not be your best plan of attack. Your fingers are nimble: use them to your advantage. Stroke her thighs on your way and caress the areas on either side of her clitoris, including her labia, before gently making the first contact. A lot of women may find direct pressure uncomfortable, so try aiming just below or just above her clitoris and making small circular movements. Because the clitoris actually extends well into her entire pelvic region, rest assured that her enjoyment will only be enhanced by full manual coverage.

Just a note on pressure: Be sure not to get too rough with her sensitive areas before you get to know what she likes and are clear on your understanding of the clitoris. A light touch will be more successful on most women, and those who need a little more are probably going to get frustrated with your restraint and beg for a harder touch. Sounds like a win-win situation to us.

Understanding the clitoris can be fun and stimulating for you both…

Her battery-powered playthings can definitely help you be in more places at once.

Vibrator

We’re sure you’ve all heard about how your girl’s vibrator can be your best friend. Her battery-powered playthings can definitely help you be in more places at once, which is always a good thing. However, have you thought about ways to ensure clitoral stimulation during intercourse? Lining up your pubic bone to hit her in the right spot can be difficult to figure out and having her “help out” while you penetrate means that she has less hands available to be all over you, so why not try the newest vibrating product to help you both out? Many companies now offer stretchy rings that you can slide onto your member that come with the added bonus of a small knobby protrusion with vibrating capabilities that can ensure an extra boost for her with every thrust.

Lubricants

The focus of a lot of creams and sexual potions usually centers on the tingling effect or the numbing effect, depending on what you’re looking for. While it’s true that lubrication is key to making her experience pleasure rather than discomfort when you tackle her clitoris, it’s best not to get too caught up in the newest, most flavorful or scientifically superior bottle on the shelf. A plain old personal lubricant on its own can be your best friend when it comes to ensuring an optimal experience for your partner. Don’t believe us? Try masturbating with no slippery aid. Enough said.

Mouth

All women appreciate that you’ve decided to get up close and personal — really, they do — and your mouth (and tongue) are your best aids to helping her achieve an earth-shattering orgasm every time. The built-in lubrication and warmth are obvious pros in favor of oral sex, as is your ability to mix up the sensations with your lips and tongue teamwork. If you’re looking to move past the basic flick and swirl and show that you really understand the clitoris, try creating a bit of suction by taking her clitoris into your mouth with some gentle sucking or pulling away when she’s close to orgasm, and gently blowing on it to heighten her sensation and prolong the encounter.

Penis

We don’t want to ignore your favorite sex toy when we’re discussing her orgasm and understanding the clitoris; your penis can get in the game and help out during foreplay to really get her going as well. During intercourse, your member might not get too much face time with her clitoris, so it’s worth taking a bit of time to introduce them — they’re sure to be fast friends. Before sex, why not try having your woman lay on her back with her legs clamped together tightly (on her stomach works too) and slide your member between her legs right where they meet with her pelvis. Moving back and forth in this position lets your penis rub between her labia and, more importantly, directly over her clitoris. Not only does this trick feel great for both of you, it’s sure to heighten your collective arousal and result in possible orgasms for everyone.

no longer so elusive…

Understanding the clitorisis the sign of a man that is invested in his partner and her pleasure, both of which are noble qualities. Even though it seems like a bit of a mystery, there’s nothing to be afraid of, and many things to gain, namely a happy and satisfied woman. And remember, a satisfied woman is going to be more interested in making sure that you’re satisfied too, and you can’t ask for more than that.